Personal
Statement:
I am a seasoned therapist, meaning
I've seen it all in the 30 years I've been in the
field. All of my clients come from the cultural belief that you're
supposed to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Have you?
Unfortunately, many of us were simply not given the tools to make
this happen as adults . . . that's where hiring on a change agent
or personal guide can make all the difference in the world.
If you could've figured out how to
resolve self defeating behavior or how to make relationships work,
you would've by now. People who finally take the risk of
entering therapy almost always say that they regret not doing it
years earlier. Even this makes sense to me in that most of
us have to repeat our mistakes enough times to finally realize
that outside input may be needed in order to get a different
result.
The average age upon entering
therapy is 40. If you're younger that this, you've got a
head start; if you're older, it is never too late to bring your
life into peace and joy. I once worked with an 80 year old
man to overcome agoraphobia. One might say, "Why bother - he's
going to die soon anyway." I say, "Why not have even one
month or one year of really feeling good and leaving this miracle
for your survivors to remember you by?"
Here is how therapy works. You
need to be emotionally uncomfortable enough to even do this work;
then you need some kind of support for your courage to do it
( friend, spouse, family member, etc.); finally, you will need a
way to do it. This is where a good therapist comes in.
It's kind of similar to a stool needing three legs. Every
therapist does this process differently, but it's critical that
you feel comfortable, safe and respected by him/her. Most
people feel this right away or not at all. The way I work
with clients is to help them - most for the first time - tell
their stories. At first, it seems we can only identify
chapter headings, but a good therapist will help you read your own
book over time. You may wonder, "Why does this
matter?" It matters because our present problems were
not born in a vacuum. Understanding how we got to be the way
we are is critical to forgiving ourselves, feeling compassion for
the child inside, and then making healthier choices for the
future. It is said, ( I don't recall by whom) that an
unexamined life dooms us to repeat forever.
Therapy should not be a mystery.
It is, put simply, relief and growth from telling your life story
to another human being who knows well how to listen, what to ask,
what to say or not say. Another cultural belief is that we
shouldn't dwell on the past; it can't be changed anyway. This is
both true & untrue! Obviously, we can't "redo" the
past BUT in exploring it and finally releasing our feelings about
it, we CAN undo the grip our pasts still have on our lives in the
present. This is the tricky part: most people are simply unaware
of how powerfully their pasts still impact the present. A good
therapist will help you navigate these waters and serve as a
tether to reality along the way.
We have all been wounded along the way. The gift of therapy can be
priceless if you have the courage to try it. The bottom line is
really this: we must "feel" the woundedness in order to
"heal".
***Note for those seeking couple's counseling:
I've observed over and over how, when a couple's relationship is
failing, one person tries to get both people into counseling. This
can be daunting task. Often the other person denies that
there are problems, or has shut down so completely as to not want
to even try counseling.
Fortunately, there’s a way out of this common dilemma:
Individual therapy. Although it takes two people to mess up
a relationship, it only takes one to start getting the
relationship back on track. I can help you see the whole picture,
as well as helping you get the participation of your
partner.
As Ann Landers has said for years: "If your partner won't get
help with you, go alone!". She couldn't be more right. There
is no good enough reason to sit alone with the pain of a failing
relationship when there's something you can do about it!
You may not be able to get your partner to seek help, but you can
surely get it! No matter what the outcome of your relationship
conflict may be, YOU can come through with clarity, resolve, and a
sense of having done everything you could.
If trying to change your partner hasn't worked, it may be time to
change YOURSELF.
Services Offered: Individual
therapy, relationship therapy. adolescent counseling, Grief and Loss
therapy, Depression and anxiety treatment, family of origin pain
resolution, and much more . . .
Languages: English
Client profile: M/F
Payments/Conditions: My hourly rate is $110 for a full 60
minutes. I will provide a free half hour phone consultation prior to
making an appointment. I have a home office overlooking Lake
Minnetonka and will conduct our sessions by the shore if asked. Sun
block is extra. I see clients during normal business hours and
on Saturdays. I am available by phone around the clock for
emergencies.
I accept Out-of Network insurance. Most people aren't aware
that they have such benefits, so I'll explain OON. After
meeting a small annual deductible, OON will usually cover 80% of up
to 40 therapy sessions. One of the best features of OON is
that your confidentiality is protected because there is NO exchange
of personal information between the therapist and your HMO.
Using in-network benefits results in a therapist repeatedly having
to justify getting a few additional sessions by using your session
records to build a case. This can actually result in getting a
lot fewer sessions each year. Most HMO's do include OON - just
call and ask about it.
Credentials/Training:
Masters Degree in Social Work -
University of Minnesota
Masters Degree in Public Health - University of Minnesota
License: #3766
Listed: 5-3-05
